Youcangetagirlfriend,butittakesarealmantotreathisgirlfriendright.Respect,honesty,andapinchofplayfulnessarethenamesofthegamewhenitcomestotreatingyourgirlfriendthewayshedeservestobetreated.Therearethreestepstoshowyouhowtotreatyourgirlfriendnicely.
工具/原料
Firstofall,youneedtobeacouple.
Andmostimportant,youloveeachother.
Part1of3:RespectingYourGirlfriend
1、Neverlietoher.Honestyisthecornerstoneofanyrelationship.Sometimes,inarelationship,tellingthetruthcanbehard,butyoushouldnevertaketheeasywayoutbylyingtoyourgirlfriend,evenforminor,everydaythings.Lyingdemonstratestoyourgirlfriendthatyoudon'ttrustherwiththetruth.Gettingcaughtinaliewithinthecontextofarelationshipcanputtremendousstressontherelationshipitselfandmayevenleadtoabreakup.tip(s):It'salsoimportanttorememberthat,inthelongrun,tellingthetruthiseasierthanlying.Keepingacomplexwebofliesstraightinyourheadcanbeincrediblystressful-justoneslipofthetonguemayruinyou.InthefamouswordsofMarkTwain,"Ifyoutellthetruth,youdon'thavetorememberanything."
2、Respectherintelligence.Justasyo掼鸿乡羰uarefreetodevelopyourownthou爿讥旌护ghtsandopinions,soisyourgirlfriend.Ifyourgirlfriendandyoudevelopdifferentthoughtsandopinions,thisisgenerallyOK.Justbecauseyourgirlfriendhasadifferentopinionthanyoudoesn'tnecessarilymeanthatshearrivedatthatopinionwithlogicthatwasfaultierthanyourown.Ifyourgirlfriendthinksdifferentlythanyouinmattersofart,politics,orrecreation,forinstance,themostyoucangenerallydoistolistentoherexplanationforthewayshefeelsandlogicallydebateher.Youmayfindthatyourdifferenceofopinionstemsfromadifferenceinlifeexperiences;you'llprobablyfindthatit'snotsomethingtotakepersonally.tip(s):Thereare,however,certaintypesofdisagreementsyoushouldtakeseriously-namely,disagreementsabouttheparametersofyourrelationship.Forinstance,ifyouseeyourrelationshipasanexclusive,long-termcommitmentbutyourgirlfriendislookingforsomethingmuchmorelow-key,thisissomethingyou'llneedtoseriouslydiscussbeforeyourrelationshipcanprogress.
3、Listentowhatshesays(and筠续师诈rememberit).Oneeasy,surefirewayto惺绅寨瞀demonstratetoyourgirlfriendthatyourespectandvaluethemissimplytomakeitobviousthatyou'relisteningwhenshe'sspeaking.Dothisbykeepingengagedintheconversation-respondingtothethingsshesayswiththoughtsofyourown-andbyrememberingwhatshesays.Obviously,noonecanremember100%percentofwhathisorhergirlfriendsays,so,ifyouhaveahardtimerememberingthings,ratherthantryingtomemorizeeverythingthatcomesoutofyourpartner'smouth,memorizethebig,importantthings(placeofbirth,dietaryrestrictions,middlename,andsoon)andmakeapointtorepeatselectminorthingsatlaterpoints.tip(s):Itmayseemcynicaltopurposefullypickthingsthatyourgirlfriendsaystorepeatlater.Trytoadoptapositiveoutlookwhenyoudothis-thinkofthisasmakinganefforttoshowyouvalueyourpartner'sthoughtsratherthanscoringeasypointsdowntheroad.
4、Giveheryourattention.Partnersinaromanticrelationshipshouldn'thavetocompeteforeachothers'attention.Showthatyourespectyourgirlfriendbypayingattentiontoher(withfewexceptions)whenyou'retogether.Forinstance,don'tallowyourselftobecomedistractedbyatelevisionbehindherattherestaurant,avideogamethatyou'remidway-throughwhensheshowsupatyourhouse,or,worstofall,anotherwoman.Basically,spendthetimethatyou'rewithyourpartnerwithyourpartner.
5、Reachamutualagreementaboutwhic丝群闻栝htypesofthingscons墉掠载牿titutegentlemanlybehavior.Menandboysaretaughttoactlike"gentlemen"aroundtheirgirlfriendfromayoungage,butthemessagestheygettellingthemtodothiscanbeconfusingandevencontradictory.Forinstance,aboy'sfathermightchastisehimforfailingtopullhisgirlfriend'schairoutwhenshesitsdownatarestaurant,whileshe,ontheotherhand,mightfindthistypeofbehaviorpatronizing.Thebestremedyforthesetypesofconfusingsituationsistotalkfranklywithyourgirlfriendearlyoninyourrelationshipaboutwhichtypesoftraditional"gentleman"behaviorhaveaplaceinyourlivesandwhichdonot.tip(s):It'simportanttorespectyourgirlfriend'sindependencebytakingherwishesinthisareatoheart.Don'tinsistuponopeningcardoorsforher,pullingoutherchair,andsoon,ifshedoesn'tlikeitoritmakesheruncomfortable.Thiscancreatetremendousawkwardnessinthelongterm.Arealgentlemanknowsthatactualrespectisfarmoreimportantthanarchaicdisplaysofetiquette.
6、Respectherboundariesintermsofdisplayingyouraffection.Havingdifferentideasaboutthetypesofbehaviorsthatareandaren'tappropriatewaystoexpressaffectionisagreatwaytorunintoconflictwithyourpartner.Forinstance,ifyoulovetomakeoutwithyourgirlfriendinsemi-publicplaceslikemovietheaters,butshe'snaturallyshyaboutsuchthings,youabsolutelyshouldnotignoreherfeelings.Respectingyourpartnersometimesmeansrefrainingfromdoingthingsthatyouwanttodobutshedoesnot-basically,makingsmallsacrifices.tip(s):Considerthereverseofthescenarioabove-wouldyouwantsomeonetokissyouifyouknewthatyoudidn'twanthimorherto?Ofcoursenot.Puttingyourselfinyourpartner'sshoeslikethiscanhelpyouunderstandhowactionsthatmightseemminortoyoucanbeverybigdealstoothers.
7、Befearless(brave)aroundyourgirlfriend.Onewayofshowinghowmuchyourespectyourgirlfriendistobeunafraidaboutthethingsyoucanexpresstoher.Thisisn'ttosaythatyoushouldmakeapointtorevealdeeplypersonalinformationearlyoninyourrelationship.Rather,itmeansthatyoushouldbeopentoher.Don'tbeafraidtotellherhowyoufeel-evenifit'sabadfeeling.tip(s):Paradoxically,thiscanalsomeanbeingfearlessaboutexpressingyourinnerfears.Youcan(andshould)occasionallytalktoyourgirlfriendaboutdeep-seatedsourcesofworry-forinstance,yourperformanceatschoolorwork,stressfulrelationshipswithyourparents,andsoon.
Part2of3:ShowingthatYouCareforYourGirlfriend
1、Beproactive.Likethevastmajorityofhumanbeings,mostgirlswon'twanttoasktobetreatedwell-they'llwantyoutospontaneouslytreatthemwell.Ifyourgirlfriendconstantlyhastoaskforthethingsshelikesinyourrelationship-likeforyoutoholdherhand,listenwhenshetalks,rememberherbirthday,andsoon-thesespecialthingsarerobbedofthejoytheymightotherwisebring.Thiscanevenmakeherfeelisolatedorneedy.Sotrytostayontheball-makeanefforttotreatyourgirlfriendwithrespectwithoutherhavingtoaskyou.
2、Keepintouch.It'shardtobeasteadypresenceinyourgirlfriend'slife(andviceversa)ifyourarelytalktoher.Thougheverycouplewillhaveadifferentnatural"rhythm"ofcommunication,generally,youshouldtrytomeet,call,or,attheveryleast,textyourgirlfriendonceortwiceaweek,ifnotmore.Thisshouldstemfromanaturalurgetowanttoknowwhatshe'sbeenupto-whatminoraccomplishmentsshe'smadeinthelastfewdays,whatchallengesshe'sfaced,andsoon.tip(s)Besuretocontactyourgirlfriendonyourown-don'tjustrespondtohercallsandtexts.Takingtheinitiativetomakethatcrucialfirstcontactwithyourgirlfrienddemonstratesthatyouwantherasmuchasshewantsyou.
3、Don'tbematerialistic.Nothingislessromanticthanamanwholosessightofwhat'sreallyimportantinlifeinfavorofhismoneyorpossessions.Yourgirlfriendshouldalwaystakeprecedenceovermaterialpleasures.Forinstance,don'tskipyouranniversarydinnertowaxyournewcar.Don'tneglectyourgirlfriendforweekstoplayanaddictivevideogame.Don'tdevoteyoureverywakinghourtoyourwork.Keepyourlifeinperspective-genuineloveisalonger-lastingsourceofjoythananymaterialgainsyoucaneverhopetomake.tip(s):Thisbeingsaid,agoodgirlfriendwillneverwillinglyaskyoutodothingsthatarebadforyourfinancialhealth.Thoughthemythical"gold-digger"ismuchrarerinreallifethanpopularculturemayleadyoutobelieve,bewareofwomenthatpressureyouintobuyingexpensivegifts.
4、Dothings"justbecause".It'snormalforamantoshowhecaresforhisgirlfriendbycelebratingbirthdays,holidays,anniversaries,andsoonwithher.It'sexceptionalforhimtoshowthathecaresonthedaysbetweenthesebigevents.Takeyourgirlfriendbysurprise.Celebrateyourrelationshipfornootherreasonthanthatyoucherishit.Thisdoesn'tnecessarilyhavetomeanbookingafancy,expensivenightout-asimplelovenote,arose,asweettextmessage,andotherthingslikethiscanletherknowthatyouarethinkingofherandcareforher.
5、Strivetobeyourselfaroundher.Oneofthegoalsofanygoodrelationshipshouldbeforbothpartnerstoreachthepointwhereneitherhastoputona"nice"frontfortheother.Withinthecontextofyourrelationship,youshouldbeabletotrulybe"you"andnotoneofthecharactersyouadoptforwork,school,etc.Thiswon'thappenovernight,butitissomethingthathastohappenforagreatrelationshiptodevelop.tip(s):Sometimesthismaymeanbeingtruthfulaboutnegativeemotionsthat,forwhateverreason,youcan'texpressduringyourdailylife.Behonestandopenabouttheseemotions-they'repartoftherealyou-butdon'tletthembecometheonlytopicofconversationinyourrelationship.
6、Letherknowthatshe'sv瞢铍库祢aluabletoyou.Thisg泠贾高框oesfarbeyondeverydaycompliments,whichcanbecomeroteanddullifyourepeatthemtoooften.Instead,whenyouwanttomakeyourgirlfriendfeelamazing,bespecific,drawingexamplesfromyourpersonalhistoryandattemptingtogenuinelyexpressyourinnerthoughts.Also,trytoadjustthe"sappiness"ofyourcommentstoalevelthatyouknowyourgirlfriendiscomfortablewith.Finally,chooseespeciallypoignantopportunitiestomakethesetypesofcomments-nomatterhowgoodyouarewithwords,youcancheapenyourthoughtsbyrepeatingthemincessantly.tip(s):Forexample,ifyouknowyourgirlfriendiscomfortablewithalittlesappinessinyourexpressionsofverbalaffection,ratherthansaying,"Hey,nicedress",youmightsay,"Ilikeyourdress.Itremindsmeofthatdressyouworewhenwefirstmet."Thisismuchsweeterandhastheaddedbenefitofshowingthatyourememberasmalldealfromearlyinyourrelationship.
Part3of3:ShowingYourGirlfriendaGoodTime
1、Beimaginativewithyourdateideas.Whilemostgirls(likemostguys)willappreciateaclassicdinner/movienightout,there'snoneedtopigeonholeyourselvesasacouplebystickingtotraditionaldatepossibilities.Becreative-takeyourgirlfriendtodothingsshe'dneverthoughtshe'ddobefore.Goingoutsideofyourcomfortzonecanbeagreatopportunitytobondasacouple.Asanaddedbonus,non-traditionaldateideascanbeagreatwaytosavemoneyifyou'reyoung.tip(s):Onegreatdateideaistosurpriseyourgirlfriendbytakinghertodoanactivitythatshe'scasuallyexpressedaninterestinduringconversation.Forinstance,ifshe'spreviouslytalkedabouthowcoolshethinksaquaticanimalsare,youmightconsidertakinghertoaSCUBAdivingclass.Similarly,ifshelovesart,youmightwanttakeheronahikeintosomescenicwoodswithaneaselandpainttomakeyourowntogether.
2、Makethenightabouther.Yourbignightoutisnotimetobedistractedbyotherpeopleorcommitments.Puteverythingelseasideforafewhours.Clearyourmindofanyupcomingprojectsthatwillrequireyourattentionandtuneinyourgirlfriendandtherelationshipyousharewithher.tip(s):Besuretoturnoffyourphone,pager,laptop,and/oranyotherdistractingdevices.Nothingruinsagreatmomentlikehavingtotakeabusinesscallinthemiddleofyourcandlelitdinner.
3、Payforher(respectfully).Thata壹执慵驾ge-oldquestion-wheth髫潋啜缅eramanshouldorshouldn'tpayforhisgirlfriendontheirnightout-ismorerelevanttodaythaneverbefore,asit'sbecomeaccepted(andevenexpected)thatawomanmaypayinstead.There'snorightanswertothisquestion-thespecificsofwhopaysforwhatinyourrelationshipareuptoyouandyourgirlfriendtodiscuss.Generally,ifyou'reresponsibleforplanningthenight,it'srecommendedthatyouatleastmakeagenuineefforttopay.Dosotodemonstratehowimportantyourgirlfriendistoyou,notoutofanold-fashionedconceptionofgendernorms.tip(s):Ifyourgirlfriendinsiststhatsheshouldpayorthatyoushouldsplitthebill,youmaywanttoputupatokenresistancetoshowthatyou'regenuine,butdon'tseriouslyfightherontheissue.Somewomencanfeelpatronizediftheirmanconstantlypaysforthemwhilethey'reouttogether,soshowthatyouvalueherasanequalpartnerinyourrelationshipbyallowinghertopay.
4、Praiseherwithoutobjectifyingher.Yourspecialnightisagreatopportunityforexpressingthesortsofnaked,passionateemotionsthatdon'tordinarilygetvoiced.Feelfreetobeassappyandpassionateasyoulike,butkeepyourcomplimentsfocusedonthingslikeyourgirlfriend'spersonality,hersenseofhumor,thewayshemakesyoufeel,andheraestheticbeauty,ratherthanhersexinessorherfigure.Therewilleventuallybetimeforthesethings,too,butdon'tcheapenyourspecialmomentbybringingthemupina"serious"romanticcontext.
5、Makeherfeellikeshe'sspecial.Yourgirlfriendisundoubtedlyimportanttoyou,soletherknowthatthisthecase.Ifyoudonothingelseonyournightout,tell(andshow)yourgirlfriendthatshereally,reallymeansalottoyou.Everythingelse-thefunyouhave,theadventuresyougoon,thetimeyouspendtogether-isjustawayofexpressingthistruth.tip(s):Thebest,sweetestwaytotellyourgirlfriendthatshe'simportanttoyouisalmostalwaystojustbecompletelyfrankaboutit.Flowery,elegantlanguageisnosubstituteforgenuineemotion-almostallgirlfriendswillbeabletotellwhenyou'rebeingyourselfandwhenyou'renot.